Friday, October 30, 2015

Don't Hold The Wall

It was a rainy night. A rainy Friday night. And as usual I met with my friends. Out for beer we went. I have never cared too much for the kind of place I go as long as the company brings something that loneliness cannot just give you. A good company is a good company in heaven and in hell.

It was 8 in the night. I was ready for drinking the night away. I was ready to create new moments and recall old stories. I was ready and so were all of my friends.

We met under the clock, near the tram stop. Quick smoked our cigarettes and teased each other in our own very sarcastic ways. Marketa had a bottle of white wine with her. She offered us to sip on it while we walked towards the stop. I took several hits despite the fact of having a strange dislike for white wine. It was 2009 and some of us talked about the summer hits. The new, the good and the bad.

Music talks were great when Marketa was around. She loved the Killers. In fact she loved a song by The Killers. I liked the band so we often played them on the jukebox. She also liked Oasis. Not just one song, but all of them. Probably the biggest fan of Oasis that I had ever met.

We were about 15 people. A cluster of eagerness and fading youth heading to a new place. As long as they had a jukebox and good beer the night would unroll nicely and easily.

We continued to drink from Marketa's sweet little bottle of wine while we were on the tram. And soon we were there. Magda and Erik rushed towards the door and we followed.

We entered a placed called The Cop Bar. I can assure you that all I was expecting was a place full of barflies and lowlife cops and maybe a couple of toothless hookers, but to my surprise and everyone else's the crowd was somewhat similar to us.

One beer, shouted Marketa.
One for me, said Erik.
I want a glass of wine, said Magda.

The rest of us ordered beer, like the good guys we were. The night had officially begun.

As we drank beer, shots and wine, Marketa would stand up, walk to the jukebox and insert a coin to continue playing her favorite Oasis song. It was about 10 pm and the I had begun feeling the booze in my system. I wanted to pee. So I excused myself and headed to the toilets of The Cop Bar. The toilet was tiny. It consisted of a sink, a urinal and a toilet seat. The urinal was being pissed on by some guy who in order to keep balance had leaned against his arm which was resting on the wall.

I then walked towards the toilet only to hear a warning from the pissing guy next to me.

I hate pissing in the urinal, he said
Hmmm right, I sighed
I said I hate pissing in the urinal, he mumbled again, they make them wrong and when I pee, my shoes get splashed with piss.
That is why you are leaning over the wall?, I asked 
Nah, I am drunk and I pissed all over my pants, he said
Oh, well, you can always tell them you were washing your hands and the water pressure was to much that you got all wet.
That's a good one, I will use it next time, the guy zipped up and left the room.

Poor guy, I thought, he was too drunk that he pissed himself. I have to ask the guys if they have ever pissed themselves. I laughed inside silently. I shook my cock. Concealed it inside my boxers and zipped up. I had to wash my hands, not like that guy before me, what a dirty dude. I stood in front of the sink, I opened the faucet and the water came out stronger than I had thought splashing all over my pants. Yes, now it looked like I had pissed my pants, just like the other dude had. Karma works in mysterious ways, I thought.






Coldwell
30.10.2015





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Friday, October 9, 2015

I'm Lost Without You

"And the world spins by 
With everybody moaning 
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting 
On their friends 
On their love 
On their oaths 
On their honor 
On their graves 
On their mouths 
And their words say nothing"

Shirley Manson sang while I silently observed the rest of the people sitting round me. 

Yes, they knew I was there, yet nobody really cared and I took advantage of my time there to space off. I had had a tough week but nobody cared. They all were immersed into what they thought was better, more interesting, more alive. I continued to mend the holes in my mind after a hectic week in real life.

"I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
Maybe just happy"


I never really liked Kurt, but on that day I had to fully agree with him and his dull rhymes and lullabies. I had to get out of there and get fucking drunk. I needed to do something. And I needed to do it fast.

The dark night outside called me. I walked across the main square. I walked and dreamed I was happy. I dreamed I was real. I had been drinking a lot. I was fucking drunk. I took my phone out and began recording what I would be later called as the Night Journey.

All I wanted was to get away from this all. I wanted to disappear. And I did. And as I walked towards home, I got a call.

My phone began ringing. I picked up. 

Hey, how's it going. The voice said
It's going well, I just need to pee
Sure, do your thing, the voice replied
Yes, I will pee and I will go home
Sure, whatever you need to do, please do
Well, it doesn't matter, I can pee and do whatever I want
Yes, you can
You cannot tell me what to do, I fired back
Of course not, the voice said
All I want is to pee and go home
Of course
And I don't want to know who you are, I said in a serious way
Well that is already top late
We are home, the voice said.





Hrms Coldwell
9.10.2015


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Friday, May 15, 2015

Pissing

It was Friday afternoon. The typical end-of-the-week time when people get ready to kill the stress and drown the voids in their soul with cheap tequila and BMW shots. Yes, another Friday afternoon to kill the time away and feel like we have become more than what our fathers said we would.

A day in which who you have grown to become doesn't really matter. As you carefully select the crowd you want to hang out with and the place that will serve as a background to your faceless selfies and to your faceless selves.

Goddamned Fridays, I hated them. I hated my friends. They lied, The were fake. But on Fridays I am ready to just get wasted. So I don't really care who I am with. 

I am the one who puts together the parties. The one who organizes the binge. The one who calls and twits everyone not to miss the drowning.

The drowning, that's what I call our Fridays together. The drowning has been happening since I arrived in this city. Almost 9 years ago. That's quite a lot of drowning and pretend. But it's Friday and no one cares. 

I am the master DJ, the king of the booze and the prince of self mutilation and black humor jokes. Like a Hollywood voice over, I always enjoyed saying what the others were thinking. Until last Friday, when I discovered one of them had been pretending to be my friend just to get close to me.
Just to see if my good life could rub off on her.

It felt like a knife carving its way into my heart. Like a check with insufficient funds. It hurt a lot.

"Hey",out of nowhere she said to me, "wanna go somewhere more private?", she asked.
"Sure", I replied, "I just need to go to the men's room. You piss the shit out of me."





Dick Pound
15.5.2015