I was all alone tonight. Just the cats keeping company on this summer day. One of the last hot days of the year. I worked out in the morning, had a full-on protein brunch, and went to work. I had one meeting today. I was feeling all depressed for not having a full schedule. But it was the same every summer. It didn't matter; I could never get used to not being productive. It made me feel sad, desperate, and in pain. Not real pain, but I could agonise, especially during the hot days of summer.
I had plans for today. I wanted to go and buy dish detergent. I had a pile of dishes from last night. And I didn't want to show anyone my inability to handle my own household. Appearance was all I was, not in the superfluous way, but in the sense of the word. I had to look good even if it wasn't true. Looks are deceitful, and that has nothing to do with other sins. I had to keep my Christian upbringing as a moral compass, not to stray away from the light. I just wanted to be in the spotlight.
And when choosing the right song to fall asleep, I was having trouble connecting to my main channel of creativity.
I had so many plans for after my scheduled meeting, but then human nature hit. I wanted to pee. And I didn't want to be in the situation where I had to strain my organs just because I had to go buy dishwashing soap.
So I hopped on the tram and went home. I had to pee really badly; I didn't even think of pissing on a bush in a green area on the way home. How could I, when it's such a nice day, full of sunshine, and before the start of the new school year, everyone is outside.
On the ride home, my best friend texted me on WhatsApp. He wanted to talk to me, and I reassured him I would video call him when I got home. The urine result of breakfast and of that beautiful sunny day kept reminding me that I had to release it any minute now. I had once let the feeling loose during a traffic jam while my mother was at the wheel, and it was nothing I wanted to repeat. And certainly not in front of strangers, going home after a busy day in the office.
I got home. My friend was already calling me on the video app. I answered and we talked. He had to tell me everything new in his tormented life. I listened. I nodded and I said: " I know". As I continued walking home for the tram stop, I couldn't care less if people would hear his problems. It's not as if they would have to understand every single word he was muttering. His problems were mine to hear and no one else.
I walked and walked. And finally, I turned right and I was on my street. I walked as fast as I could. And I was trained to walk fast. I had been walking to get in shape since February, and brisk walking was child's play for me.
When I finally got to my address, I took my keys out and proceeded to open the door. C~limbed two flights of stairs and faced my apartment door. I drew the key out and stuck it in the keyhole. I jerked it and opened the door. My friend was telling all about butter biscuits from an American chain store that had the best products. I thought of RFK and told him American food is poison. He nodded and said he knew but was lonely. I agreed and empathised with him.
Once I was in my flat, I closed the door behind me and turned the second lock. I always did, in a false sense of security type of way. If anyone is going to break in, they will break in, and another shitty lock on the door will not prevent them from doing it. But I liked the idea of feeling safe by turning a lock once i was inside.
I rushed to the toilet. Opened the door, greeted my cats, and put my phone on the windowsill.
I rushed to undo the knot on my summer shorts and proceeded to lower them down so that I could take my cock out and pee.
Lifted the toilet lid and, with a satisfied sigh, shot a stream of yellow urine aimed at the bottom of the bowl. I must have been there for a few seconds. But it felt like eternity. In retrospect, maybe a couple of millimeters of whizz. I felt relieved, and I was ready to continue the video call with my best friend.
I put my dick inside and flushed the toilet. Grabbed my phone and saw a. black screen. I tried to figure it out, but it seemed he had hung up. I called him and waited for a minute to no avail.
I had lost the connection to my friend. I felt terrible. I blamed my urge to piss for this unfortunate act of destiny. Was it too long? Was he disgusted by the sound of my piss leaving my body? I was confused. i thought we were friends, and these things didn't really matter.
I walked out of the toilet feeling sad. I petted my cats and headed to the bedroom. "Maybe it was the time zones," I said, "Maybe he fell asleep." I crawled into bed and fell hard asleep.
The next morning, I was woken up by one of my cats. The usual routine. She would jump on me, demanding fresh water and food. I rolled over and checked the time on my phone. It was 5:00am. The typical time for my cats to wake me up. I saw a message from my friend and it read: "I am going to make some fish and rice, talk to you later."
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