It was yet again another sleepless night. And all I wanted was to drown the time in booze. It was better than just counting the minutes away. Anything was better than just letting time slip by. And that included drinking.
I never considered myself an alcoholic. Or addicted to the nectar of the gods. Even though I constantly thought of having a drink. But instead, had chosen cigarettes over anything else. From the point of view of convenience, cigarettes reigned divine. You could easily find a nice shaded spot and light one cancer stick and get rid of all the stress and anxiety for 32 more minutes. Convenient and quick. It only took about 5 minutes of my busy day. And I was ready for more of what life had in store for me.
I was never a neurotic person, at least not in public. I had gained experience on certain techniques to deal with that part of my personality when I was around others. Yes, I had become excellent at hiding that personality trait from others. I mean, from time to time, it was quite obvious that the situation called for me to act nervously, somewhat of a fusspot. And that was ok too. I didn't mind it at all. After all, I had realized that people will judge you anyway.
I moved away from my bed and headed to the kitchen. Put a jacket on and opened the door to the balcony and shut the door behind me. I lit a smoke and reached for a nice chilled bottle of beer that I had placed there to get them naturally cold. It was a common practice in the cold days of winter and autumn where I lived. That and potato salad. But I guess you could do without a fridge during these times too. So basically, I just used my balcony when I wanted to smoke, cool beer down, and grow tomatoes in the spring and summer.
It was a Saturday, well into midnight. I opened the beer with help of my lighter. The bottle cap flew out of the window and fell on the neighbor's garden downstairs. "Shit", I thought, this is the last thing I need, another notice posted everywhere on the building scolding an unknown culprit of littering the poor neighbor's garden with cigarette butts, bottle caps, and other shit. But, oh well, I didn't really mean for the cap to pop off in the wrong direction now, did I?
I began puffing my Blue Camel's delight and took sips of beer. I puffed again and again. I was a bag of nerves. I didn't know why or what was going on. So I gulped down on my pilsner and lit another smoke. I was clearly having a nervous breakdown. Was it because the sleep deprivation was kicking in? Was it the fact that I had to stay in isolation for the next 5 days? Was it the fact that I didn't have any friends and my act had caught on me?
I felt an incredible urge to piss. Was it the beer? Was it the cold? Was it the fact that in a normal night, my bladder would wake me up at around this time to release all the liquids I had ingested before attempting in vain to fall asleep?
I gently put out my cigarette. I didn't want to damage it in case I wanted to light it up again later. I put the empty beer bottle on the floor and moved into the kitchen. I closed the door behind me and walk towards the toilet. I didn't have to unzip my pants. I loved the freedom that only my pajamas could provide. I took my dick out and began pissing.
Pissing is one of the greatest feelings we have the pleasure to experience in this life. And, I realized then that all the anxiety and stress I had experienced earlier, all went away.
"I am cured", I thought while shaking my penis to get rid of the excess urine. I felt a tremendous relief. And with that a strong need to go back to bed and finally sleep.
