"The following is an unreleased interview for Empire Magazine"
Prague, Spring of 2013
One of our reporters managed to get a hold of the infamous artist Hrms Etc, as his fans call him.
We are sitting in the hotel suite of one of Prague's most expensive hotels. Hrms Etc has asked the hotel staff to decorate his room with several screens, blocking the over-decorated walls and making this room darker and colder. Different things are playing on each screen. We recognize 'House of 1000 Corpses', and 'The Exorcist'. Straight porn, gay porn and nudity on other screens. Alejandro Jodorowsky's "El Topo", is what catches out attention. A series of unnatural shots put together in such a appalling way. A master piece of the spaghetti westerns.
Hrms Etc is sipping on red wine. He is staring at the screens showing nudity.
We clear our throats and proceed with the long awaited interview.
Empire: How's the wine?
Hrms Etc: Quite good. The fact is that I didn't have to pay for it. So it is better and stronger for that reason. I like red wine. I like it when I feel romantic. I like it when I feel like getting wasted. I like red wine.
E: That's good. So, we wanna thank you for this interview.
H: No, thank you for coming all the way down to my hotel in such a terrible weather.
It is pouring cats and dogs outside
E: So tell us, What kind of food could you do without?
H: Hmm, I think I could do without many different kinds of food. For instance, I think I couldn't care less if i stopped eating broccoli.
E:What's your favorite song at the moment?
H: Teenage Nosferatu Pussy. It has a funny dark side to it and I just can't stop listening to this one.
E: What's your favorite vegetable?
H: I don't have any favorite one
E: What's your favorite part of your body?
H: My dick
E: Is there any movie character that resembles your mother or your father?
H: Well, I think "The Shinning", and I would be the little kid repeating RedRum 32 times.
E: What do you think when you are pissing in the men's room?
H: Strangely enough, I like to think that someone is watching me piss. Call it a fantasy. Call it what you want. Sometimes I think that guys in the men's room enjoy the situation and look at other guys' dicks. Women are lesbians by nature. Men like to look at dicks pissing, I think. At least I do. And I know some other men who would agree with me. I do not know whether they just like to stare.Or if they like to compare size and girth. I like counting so sometimes I think I come up with the strangest games. In my head I have to count things. So sometimes when I am in the men's room I like to count how many cocks I get to see. But most of the times I only see mine. That's arousing.
E: What was the last nightmare you had?
H: I was in a mall and everybody was shopping.
E: What do you think of the Boston Bombing?
H: I think Americans are so good at media manipulation so they make this single act of violence into a huge world wide thing that has nothing to do with more important things that are going on right now. But please compare this with the thousands of people American troops have killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Boston is nothing compared to what they have done in those two countries. But I feel sorry for the guy who lost his legs and his dick.
E: Is there any fantasy that you haven't fulfilled?
H: Yeah, some.
E: Coffee, black or with milk?
H: Milk
E: Favorite celebrity?
H: The Artist
E: Cocaine or E?
H: Neither
E: Thank you very much for your time
H: Thank you for yours
Courtesy of EM
19.4.2013
