Holy Shit!

It had been 3 years since my best friend disappeared. The last time I saw him was in Alterna, a bar near my flat which served as meeting point for students from the local university and other entities such as me and my friends.

We went there every weekend, not only because it was cheap, but because their playlist sounded as it had been created by me, or as if they had cloned my iPod and were playing all what we loved night after night.

It had been 3 years since my best friend had vanished. The last time we were together we drank beer and whiskey sours. We smoked camel blues and puffed on weed on occasion. We had been planning a trip out of the big city as we needed to get away from the stress and the monotony of the every day life we had become slaves to.

I am Terrified by IAMX began playing on the sound system. Chris Corner sang:

I am terrified, I think too much

I get emotional when I drink too much

I buy every cry, 'cause I don't trust

I am terrified, I think too much

We continued to plan. 

Our master plan began to take form. It made sense, we had to do it, the stress was killing us. I was a little bit stronger than he ever was, yet, that night, I felt as if we were in sync and we were meant to do this.  

Two more shots of Jack arrived at our table and we swallowed them without mercy.

I have to pee, he said

Yeah, I replied

And Hermes went to the toilet. And I sat there, waiting and staring at my phone waiting for someone to ring, text or something.

I'm so empty

You're all I'm thinking about, about

Oh oh, about, about

Oh oh oh, about, about

Oh oh oh, about, about

I'm so empty sang Shirley Manson, She sang until her voice faded away and her next streaming single hit the sound system.

I sat there and sipped on my beer. I played candy crush and liked some shitty pictures on Instagram. I even endorsed some shitty abilities of people on LinkedIn.

I sat there for some time. A new beer soon appeared on  my table. Shirley Manson has stopped singing long ago. And there I had drunk a lot of beer. So I decided to hit the toilets and release the pressure. 

I stood up and tried my best to walk straight. I didn't want people to know that I was feeling tipsy and that I couldn't handle my alcohol. I made it to the entrance door. Then I continued to the toilets.

I pushed the door open and walked in. I looked around and the place was empty. Nobody was there. All the doors to the toilet were open. I was all alone in there. 

I couldn't hold it any longer so I jumped to the urinals and unzipped my pants.

And as I was doing my business I saw it.

On the wall mosaic. A pink square. Amid the rest of them all. And I remembered Hermes saying that the one pink square had been calling him out.

I finished pissing. I shook my penis. My friend was gone.

Coldwell

8.6.2016

Pissing In The Office

I ran into the toilet. I had drunk the previous night. I was fucking stressed, so I drowned myself in red wine, even though I knew I would wake up horny. I drained the bottle out. I had a few shots of whiskey and some other of jagermeister. All I needed was to forget what had happened at work that day.

My boss was a bitch and I couldn't´t do anything about it but to swallow my pride and drink to forget. She was a selfish cunt and she knew it. We all did.

All I could ever amount to do was to kill her in my fantasies. Of course I would never end another human being´s life, but only in my wildest dreams she would meet her maker.

I was from America, the continent, no the country, so really there was nothing I could do to end her miserable life but to pray that she would grow a heart, and a brain, and a soul. 

I would find out years later that destiny had something in store for her, but back then all I wanted for her was to die a slow and painful death.

I had woken up to the 5:30 a.m. alarm clock and rushed toward the steamy shower to help myself disguise the stench of alcohol coming out of morning meat suit.

After the morning coffee and my morning song, to help me go through the day, I arrived at work. I dreaded to meet my boss face to face. She had always something nasty to say to me like: oh you´re so short, like a midget, or: oh you´re so ugly like my mother.

I always tried to avoid meeting her. But that day I didn´t even have to try. She was not anywhere to be seen. So, I walked straight into my office.

I did everything what I had to do on that day. I emailed my clients. I called them. I smiled and laughed.

She was not there.

She must be ill, I thought. Fucking Bitch, She was sick and she didn´t let us know. She always broke protocol.

It didn´t matter, I was hungover and I had diarrhea, so I had to go to the toilet. God damn the red wine!

As I was sitting there, minding my own business, until I hear them.

Shut the fuck up! A random guy said.

I won´t say anything, my boss cried.

You fucked us so much already, he said.

Agh...her voice was muffled, as if her mouth had been violently covered.

Another manly voice said: You have been so nasty to me. All I wanted was your love, and all I got was your most horrible side.

I nodded. I knew what he was talking about.

He went on to call her several things.

I sat there in the small cubicle. I sat there until all the raucous had ended. And she was gone.

Thank God, I thought. The most negative person I had ever met had left the building and I was happy.

Hermes Coldwell

10.01.2016